A song I wrote awhile back

I like songs like this. They have multiple meanings. I do that a lot. I enjoy letting people find their own meanings... without further dodo...

UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN
A soft wind blows
Weaving remembrances
Held tight, cherished
Drifting in and out of thought
The times shared
The love, the friendhsip
are a gift eternal

CHORUS
Until we meet agaiin
The stars will not seem as bright
Until we meet again
The sun will shed less light
Until we meet again
I'll be thinking of you

As we ponder and struggle
For meaing in chaos
Hang onto hope
Let go of grief
Keep the memories alive
As there are no goodbyes
only `til we meet again's
Until thenn...
you will be missed...

Choices and lessons...

I am sitting here contemplating whether to bitch or to talk about a cool experience... Been a pretty crappy day so far, so I think I will go with the cool experience ;)
Let me preface this by saying that I am in no way tooting my own horn here... this really has nothing to do with me, it is the reaction of the other party that to me, stands out...
this past Sunday while driving down the main highway, I noticed a rack (no, not a woman's exposed top side, nor antlers, this was a music gear rack), in the middle of both lanes. I said "Hey! I need one of those!" So I got off the next exit, turned around and went back to pick it up. It was pretty trashed, but had a bass guitar amp and a nice guitar tuner in it. Driving home, I decided to make some flyers to try to find the owner, because I knew whoever lost it was at that exact time, very bummed. We got home and I managed to get the components out of the trashed rack and tried to see if they were fixable. The tuner was done, but the amp looked like it might actually be ok... had a couple of broken knobs... but was still intact.
I made a flyer and my wife suggested faxing it to the local newspaper which we did. the next day i got a call from a very happy bass player... I arranged for him to come by to pick it up after making sure that it was in fact his.
I was on my way home from work and pondering the meeting... what was the guy like? You never know with musicians! I wondered if he would offer a reward, i wondered what his face would look like when he saw that he actually got his amp back - this amp listed for over $1000 new... I always play out scenarios in my head and they usually never play out as i imagine, but it is just something I do and have always done... it is that over active imagination thing! I'll tell you in a moment what I planned to say...
Well, I got home, and I called him to say he could come over to get it. Coincidentally he lives in the same town as I. He showed up 10 or 15 minutes later and rings the doorbell... i answer and we exchange hellos - he is very, very happy and totally shocked that someone would actually place an ad in a newspaper saying they found something like that... and at that moment, he said "I am not sure that I would have done that..." My immediate response was, "next time you will". And he smiled and said, "yeah... definitely." He reached into his pocked and said that he had a reward for me and I told no, no way... i am just glad that the gear found it's was back home. Then I said 'there is one thing you can do for me..." he asked what. i said "please stop back by my house tomorrow and let my son give you these two pictures he drew you of your amp. i showed him the pictures that my son had drawn - let me back track a moment to tell you about the pictures...
when we got home after finding the gear, I explained to my son that someone had lost it and were very sad right now, because it is very expensive stuff and music gear means a lot to musicians. I showed him what had happened to the stuff, how it was damaged and he helped me take it apart to try to fix it. i told him that we were going to put up flyers and an ad in the newspapers to try to find the person that lost the gear because it was the right thing to do. He stopped, and got up and grabbed his markers and started to draw. He showed me the pictures and said that they were the amp all fixed up. he said he wanted to give it to the man that lost it when he came to get it. Yeah, that super warm and tingly feeling... i said that is AWESOME! I said, let's put these with the amp and maybe, when he comes to get them he will put the pictures on the amp to remember and so he has a fixed amp too! He was very excited about that.
My son was not home last night, so, again, I asked the guy to come back the next day for my son. He was floored... well, I guess floored is the wrong word, he was surprised at that request, but went on to say, no problem, he would love to come back. Turns out he has two little ones of his own and knows what that kind of stuff means to kids.
We talked a little more, I helped him load his stuff into his truck. We exchanged emails, as he invited me to a show his band was playing and said he would put me on the guest list (now I can feel important :))) He also said he would be by tomorrow (that's today) and would bring his kids with him.
I am anxious to see how this meeting goes… I am of the mind that meetings are never by accident… actually, I am of the mind that there is no such thing as accidents. I love to ponder this stuff J To see where a chance encounter like this leads… maybe it was all about sending a message to another soul that there is still some decency left in the world and that he will consider doing the same when it is him finding something… maybe it is just another chance to show a magnificent child that decency is special and should be cherished. Maybe…
Ok, I said I would tell you the scenario that I envisioned… it all transpired exactly how I envisioned it… yeah… boring… you were maybe anticipating a long explanation? Nope! But it is very weird… that is never the case for me… so it feels like maybe a change in how I create space for things to happen… I dunno… that’d be nice! I didn’t think about him saying he might not have done the same, but I did think about telling to remember and to pass along the kind deed when the roles reverse themselves someday.
My whole purpose in sharing this? Two things; first, that a person will think about passing along a good deed the next time the opportunity comes into their life and second that a small child will remember that he helped to touch another person life in a really nice way. That is more than I could ever ask for… PL&P.

An interesting thought about "Just"

I am going to write this quickly, because I am on my way to be photographed some more! But I really wanted to get this out...
For quite som etime now, I have been attempting to eliminate the word "just" from my families vocabulary. As in "Oh, this is just Franz"... when calling someone... It makes it sound like I am less than someone r or something else. "Just" sounds demeaning, belitteling and creates a sense of lack of worth - as in less than... I stop myself when calling people and change my words to, this is Franz. I am NOT just anything! Nor is anyone else! I thought I was a bit of a freak in tis and then I watched a movie last night called Finding Neverland... I won;t spoil the movie, but there was one scene where a small child says, "That is just a dog" and Johnny Depps reply is awesome! I couldn't have said it better myself...
I got to thinking about it more and more and decided I needed to share it with the world. Or at elast with anyone that actually reads this malarky :)
So, next time you are about to "just" yourself... STOP! You are much more than "just"! you ARE! Be confident in who you are, be proud of it and do not use a word like just to create any sense of insignificance about yourself...
Until the next time! PL&P!

Mind Over Me - New Song!

MIND OVER ME

Turn away
Run if you must
Your icy eyees
Turn my heart to dust
You gave up
All to easily
Forgot about us
Forgot about me

CHORUS
Mind over me
I cannot see
You decieve
Pain is me

Proclaim to love
Insist it's we
Then turn around
And start to leave
Crocodile tears
Fall like rain
Feigning remourse
Feigning pain

CHORUS

BRIDGE
But now I got your game
I see you hollow heart
I am breaking free
I'm makling a new start
My turn to walk away
My turn to say goodbye
Your turn to feel the pain
Your turn to cry

Mind over you
I see truth
I am through
Pain is you

Wasabe Cashews!

I am sitting here with my face feeling like it is going to burst into flames and I love it! Maggie bought me some wasabe coated cashews... OMG! They freaking ROCK! I am a wasabe junkie though. I eat sushi and where most people put a small dab of wasabe on their sushi, I use a big chunk of wasabe - i mean pencil eraser size! Brings tears too my eyes, my nose feels like a hot poker was shoved into it... man, I can't get enough :)
So, that's it... just had to share! If you like wasabe, you have GOT to try these! Available at your friendly neighborhood Trader Joes market (not an endorsement, but it is a pretty decent healthy type store). Just watch out for the crunchy nutties... for some reason they seem to be more uptight than a lot of people and often lack sense of humours - especially about deforestization... go figure :)

I Reach Out - New song

This was started 2/28/05 and I stopped half way through, which I do frequently.. I came back to it yesterday, 4/6 and finished it... It will probably go through a couple more iterations before it is done and I most likely will add a bridge. Won't know until I put some music to it...

Didn't you hear me cry?
Didn't you see me fall?
Why weren't you there?
All I felt was a wall
Didn't you see the tears?
Didn't you hear my heart break?
Why weren't you there?
Now I feel my soul break

CHORUS:
I reach out to you
I cry for your empty heart
I grasp at nothing
My souls falling apart
I reach out to you
I gave you my love
I gave my heart and soul
I guess it wasn't enough

You look right through me
Like I am not even there
I gave you all of me
You don't even care
The emptiness you call a heart
Has no room for me
Cares only for things
I've plainly come to see

CHORUS
END

EMPTY - new poem

A dark without a way out
Drawn, I fall back
Slowly, arm's outstretched
My body drops and drifts
Slow motion, yet all is a blur
I watch as I disappear into the empty
Like Sinking into black water
I slowly sink beneath the surface
Holding my breath, heart beating faster
There is nothing but heart beats now
Echoing like thunder, then fading
They seem further and further apart
I try too remember before
To find footing as I fall further
Am I still falling? Or rising?
I feel the black swirl around me
Heart beats sound like a memory
Sounds far away and blurry
I blink to try to focus
Or was it a memory of blinking?
Where am I? Am I?
I am so aware... of nothing
Perception ceases
Thought falls to a lost memory
Empty consumes, yet never fills
Or does it?